Month by Month
One breath. I glanced around slowly; knowing there was something wrong. He
looked at me. One moment I’ll never forget. We stared into each other’s
eyes. It ended. I felt it collapse. To the right I looked, my mother
crying as if there was no end to her pain. A heartbeat; my family, my life,
world’s over. His mouth opened, words flew out. I didn’t listen. I
couldn’t listen, I already knew.
It was just one of those things you have already heard about but don’t think
will ever happen. Tears hit the floor but not mine I was in shock. It
wasn’t meant to happen. Not to me, not to my family. We weren’t bad. What
had I done? What had he done? He was in pain, constantly in pain. I wish
I could help but I knew I couldn’t. One day, soon, it will end. All of it,
his pain but mine will have only just begun. I can’t do it. A never-ending
struggle, a life without him? I don’t believe it. I feel I want my life to
end so I can’t feel his pain anymore.
But wait. There’s always a glimmer of hope. Life isn’t that cruel. Month
by month we get a scan. Good? Bad? Better? Worse? Well I don’t always
listen. I shut it all out, wishing and wishing for it all to end. It isn’t
worth the minute of sheer torture finding out. Oh great, no luck, it’s bad.
He’s worse. Like the shining light above his head has gone out, ping.
Pitch black.
I can’t breathe let me out. Make it stop, over: A flicker, a flash, a beam
of light. Another month, the bulbs back on. My dad has cancer but is
surviving so far. How long until the bulb goes completely out? A month?
Heather Eadie, Aged 13 years
Wirral Grammar School for Girls