Last updated: 8/11/2008
July 16th, 2002 was a day that changed my life, my families and friend's life.....looking back over the past short 8 months since, I found that day to be my first day to start living.
Being a police officer, I thought I had seen, and felt everything...I have seen people lose their love's from a stupid act, like driving under the influence ,not only to them, but to innocent people in their path as well. This is only one example of observing one's loss of life.
After suffering for more than 13 months of visual problems, and a acid type taste at the end of the problem, I demanded further medical review, as my doctor then was telling me" its panic attacks".."Your a cop, hats not abnormal".....I kept telling him no, but he said yes...I was 40 years old, running outdoors about 20,25 miles a week, lot of weight lifting. my wonderful wife Wendy, my daughter Jessica, and my two boy's Jon, and Scott jet all thought I was going crazy, by going to the doctors all the time, only to be told the same thing about panic attack.....moments after my last"attack",i was checked by a different doctor, who thought I need to see a neuroligist..after seeing a neuroligist,he sent me to the local hospital for a brain Mr......within minutes, I was asked to stay and wait for doctor's to talk me.....it was discovered that I had a large brain tumor, right side of head, located towards the rear of the eye.
Come on, you got the wrong name on those slides I said...nope, my name was all over them... My mom, and my sister Karin ,who have nursing backgrounds, went to work for me........they found that due to the size of the tumor, we are limited on locations now that would be willing to perform the operation. The tumor was on the line, crossing into my motor skill's (although no physical change seen then on me)................dry Richard Byrne, from Chicago institute of neurosurgery at rush sty likes hospital, Chicago ill did the surgery...10 hours or so of being awake during this time..Talking, singing songs, was very strange to experience...dr byrne did the subtotal resection,trying to get as much tumor out as possible,without paralizing,or causing further harm to me.
I had grade 2 oligodendroglioma,few mitotic figures, showing potential to act more aggressive then normal type 2,.and into the anaplastic....I discovered dry Nina palaeolgos,neuro-oncoligist from Evanston northwestern health care. after lengthily meeting and observation of films,dr palaeolgos put me on temozolomide for chemotherpy..i feel this treatment is working well, as one Mr. in December was showing the remaining cell's shrinking..
I realized that I was "dealt this obstacle in lfe",and that I must get over it........sure, in order for that to occur, I might have to trade in my blue uniform and gun belt, for a computer keyboard for my job!!.....as I sat in a chair, very weak, and coughing up blood a few weeks after coming home from the hospital, phenomia and pleurisy set in my body...I continued to gain strength thou by typing all over to those who, like myself had brain cancer......it sure helped....I kept building strength, one day at a time..........I have spoken to allot of new friends on the computer...males, females, white, black, orange,..I don't ask, I don't care,
This new day in my life brought some many people together in one..........we are all related.....al of us........I type to those not only with brain cancer, but breast cancer, colon cancer,ovirian cancer......... ..I continue my fight with cancer, as I type every week to hundreds of my new friends, to help find cause of cancer, aid to cancer familys,support groups, qualified doctor's, continued research........
I did not want this to be a sad story about myself....me and my family have gone thru allot of pain, yes,....but I keep my fight by wlaking,then got back to running and little amounts of weight
Lifting ,and typing to others daily, trying to get others to help type to someone else, brighten up their day, give them a little support,encouragement..I have always told myself before, that I will not give up.somedays I might be able to walk around as well, but that's ok, then the next day I walk around, and add on a few extra feet. This past Sunday, April 27th 2003, i competed in my son's 4th grade school 5k run, and I came in 94th place out of 425 runners. I was just so happy to be there, and had no idea I would actually finish the race, but it sure felt good, and I had just completed another round of chemo one week before....I listen to the doctors(and the wife and kids) when they tell me to take things at a slower pace now, and it is here that we all can learn from this, and make each week a little better than last week, even when things like cancer is still in us, we can still improve yourself in many ways, both mental and physical.
My sad story starts now:........jose, jennifer, eric, william, carolyn, scott,...thou I never met you, you all became good friends of me on the computer...I know you were called away from us, but you wont be forgotten,...I will keep that fight going for you all as well.........
Update 1/17/2007
I went through 26 months straight of Chemotherpy (Temador). After several M.R.I's, my tumor showed signs of shrinking. I started running outside again, and weight llifting. It didn't matter to me that i couldnt lift what I use to before surgery, or that I couldn't run the 1 1/2 mile in my less then 11 minute time I did before. The more chemo that I took, the more I set my mind on beating this illness.
Sure,being on the chemo made me tired some times, and feeling sick a few days but it felt so much better going outside and running,knowing that this cancer only wanted me to just lay back, an let it control my life. No way. I didn't care how bad it was going to be, I was going to fight and win.
For those of you who may be a family or friend of us with brain tumor, dont give up on us. Just keep us pushing. It doesnt mean that we can run a marathon, but if today we can raise our hands or feet a few times more then we could yesterday, then we are moving forard. If we can go to the movies with you, sit and enjoy some butter popcorn, then we are moving forward. If we can type an email to each other to say hi, or drop off a freshly made loaf of bread to someone who is going through a brain tumor, then we are moving forward. You see by having a brain tumor, the tumor doesnt like it when it can only affect us....No, it wants to affect you, me, family, frends, neighbors, etc. But we as a group our much stronger then this illness, and we can beat it.
I returned back to full duty as a Sheriffs Police Officer again. Forget what we are told, no matter what others say, if you want something, we can do it. if i just laid here, then im not sure how my recovery might have progressed. I made a promise to my daughter as they wheeled me into surgery that day, that I would not give up.
On that cold day last winter, after being back to work for 12 months already, the whole time while i was going through chemo and radiaton I continued to work. I fought hard for this not only for me, but for each one of us with a brain tumor. Remain positive. But on this day, my employer felt that they must take me off the road and try to terminate me. They were "concerned for my health and such" because I contiued to show up at work each day, not having any complaints from me or the public, but rather because I started losing all my hair from the treatments. I went through all the required testing to get back and on those testing dates I was on chemo, I passed them all. So, it was dis hearting for me to leave that squad car at the station that day and go home, only to tell my children that its not because of my fight, but rather then some #%)*+_ not understanding what life is truly about. I think that it hurt me more telling all these wonderful people that I talk to on the computer each day that I wasnt working, these wonderful people who like me have a brain tumor.
I was placed back on the job within 2 weeks. I have passed the dates that some doctors thought might be my last based on " statisic rates", but lets not worry about that, lets just live life and fight it.
Update 8/11/2008
I am still working as a police officer, and contiue to win this war against brain cancer. It was 6 years July 22nd that I had surgery. I no longer have any chemo treatments. I did write a book titled My New Family.
My word to all of us is keep pushing. Keep that fight going, and love each day, reap the most out of each day we can.
